Friday, November 13, 2009

A time to mourn

As Dad passed away yesterday, I have today a day off, would not really be able to work. No its the time to mourn and to prepare for the funeral next Wednesday.
Not a easy time and even today a hard day. So many thoughts and so many memories. Really weird, so many memories come to my mind, like little movies, of time with Dad when I was a little boy, things he did with me, places he took me to, family vacations... Even memories I was not aware of for a long time.
Felt today kind of very exhausted, tired, sleepy and dizzy. Even sometime like standing at my side and seeing everything more like a movie, kind of unreal. Crazy feelings, life outside goes on as if nothing has happened...
Feel little scared about the weekend, wish you were here at my side in this time of mourn. But I feel you here, I feel your love and presence. Thanks for your mails, our phone calls, chats and messages. This all is great support and shows how close we are, how much we live our life so real together, even over the distance we have to face at the moment.
Now its time to prepare for the funeral on Wednesday, will be a christian funeral, but the Buddhist center will also perform a ceremony for Dad. That gives me comfort too.
Really sad that the really unreliable mobile network in Cambodia is not working so well, that all your sms messages did not reach me. And now even as it was working again for a moment, it seems it does not work again as no message from you after our phone call has arrived. Look forward to the day we live together and dont need to face such problems anymore, specially as it happens right now, when I need you the most.

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