Monday, January 11, 2010

Dads birthday

Today I feel restless, really weird. Dad died in November and today is his birthday. Feels really different and painful. His first birthday, he is not here anymore. All the years before the whole family came together on his birthday and now this will never happen again. Guess it makes me so sad and restless, because he just passed away and than such days get a different meaning and bring memories and emotions back. Somehow hard to concentrate today, just these feelings and this restlessness taking a lot of my attention.
But as now the years will pass by, I am sure that I will handle this next year around this time much better. Does not mean to forget him, but of course keeping him in my memories, only not so painful and restless as this year, because he just died a few months ago.
Wish you could be here today, with me, would mean a lot to just feel you in real here at my side, on such a day. But soon I will be with you, that lets me look forward and gives me strength for this week. ILYSM!

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